If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
Best Of
Re: When the main reason that makes men think you’re ugly is the ✨fucking weather✨ 🙃
No matter what you look like or say some people are just nasty just be your self don’t let it defeat you your beutiful in your own way
Re: (TW: mentions of rape) I’m terrified for my mums life
so sry to hear this the system is letting the wrong ppl out of prison. from a girl myself i would recommend if your going outside take someone with you also if your going out at night and noone is with you make sure to stay where theres traffic and make sure to stay where theres light bc ppl will be around. if you find yourself in a situation where you feel unsafe pls call 999 or go to a shop or approach someone and explain bc your safety is priority. im here for you 🩷
eylah
2
Re: When the main reason that makes men think you’re ugly is the ✨fucking weather✨ 🙃
everyone is beautiful in their own ways that includes you. by sounds of it those guys are very immature. dont let them put you down bc your beautiful inside and out. 🩷
eylah
1
Re: When the main reason that makes men think you’re ugly is the ✨fucking weather✨ 🙃
Your pretty no matter the lighting or when inside 
River
1
Re: (TW: suicidal thoughts, self-loathing) not being able to find love makes me want to kill myself
Wanted to say it's lovely to read this discussion. I can tell those feelings of self-loathing are so intense for you @bignosegirly0 and I think it's cool that you're confronting them.
I agree with everything @Faolan said. It's really positive that you decided to step away from the incel/femcel forums. It would have been easy to stay and to stew in that environment (like so many do), so for what it's worth: well done for choosing to leave those spaces. Finding your way to a community like this one is a step in the right direction.
Have you ever had or considered having therapy? What you're posting about sounds like the kind of thing that a psychotherapist would be good at unpicking with you, particularly as it seems to relate to trauma and some deep rooted childhood stuff.
--
Putting my moderator hat on for a sec, I made a couple of edits to your main post. I added a trigger warning to the title and body of the post, then I wrapped the ranty part in a spoiler just because it's quite intense reading and I didn't want folks just stumbling on it.
I agree with everything @Faolan said. It's really positive that you decided to step away from the incel/femcel forums. It would have been easy to stay and to stew in that environment (like so many do), so for what it's worth: well done for choosing to leave those spaces. Finding your way to a community like this one is a step in the right direction.
Have you ever had or considered having therapy? What you're posting about sounds like the kind of thing that a psychotherapist would be good at unpicking with you, particularly as it seems to relate to trauma and some deep rooted childhood stuff.
--
Putting my moderator hat on for a sec, I made a couple of edits to your main post. I added a trigger warning to the title and body of the post, then I wrapped the ranty part in a spoiler just because it's quite intense reading and I didn't want folks just stumbling on it.
JustV
2
Re: 🛡️ Our new Confidentiality Policy (explained)
In answer to this: yes, that's correct - this only applies to things shared post-merger.
There are a couple of reasons for that. 1) there's simply no way we could go through old posts, and 2) the information and risk level in old posts would likely be out of date.
When we're conducting risk assessments, we need the information we're going off to be new and current in order for that to be a useful process for the person involved.
JustV
1
Re: (TW: suicidal thoughts, self-loathing) not being able to find love makes me want to kill myself
Sheesh, ya incel & femcel communities can be really harsh sometimes. I guess they’re just full of people who are deeply hurt and desperate to show that in someways.
It must’ve felt nice to find someone to relate to but I do think they’re best to avoid. They seem really toxic and almost brain washing in a way. I’m glad you don’t use them anymore, sure for your own mind. You don’t need to read that crap.
I know this post is about feeling frustrated with trying to find love, I feel like now a days people tend to use dating apps to find people they like / who like them. Have you ever tried that?
I do hear your frustrations and I’m really sorry you’ve been made to feel this way. You didn’t deserve any of this. No one should be left feeling so horrible about themselves.
For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re alive . I do believe you’ll find your way out of this darkness
It must’ve felt nice to find someone to relate to but I do think they’re best to avoid. They seem really toxic and almost brain washing in a way. I’m glad you don’t use them anymore, sure for your own mind. You don’t need to read that crap.
I know this post is about feeling frustrated with trying to find love, I feel like now a days people tend to use dating apps to find people they like / who like them. Have you ever tried that?
I do hear your frustrations and I’m really sorry you’ve been made to feel this way. You didn’t deserve any of this. No one should be left feeling so horrible about themselves.
For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re alive . I do believe you’ll find your way out of this darkness
Faolan
2
Re: (TW: suicidal thoughts, self-loathing) not being able to find love makes me want to kill myself
Morning @bignosegirly0 just checking in on you this morning and checking that your safe this morning? I am hearing how tough things are right now for you and im sending you a lot of strength. Im hearing how you are struggling to find love and it’s really impacting you. Would you like to chat a bit more about what finding love might look like for you and how this is affecting you? Just to say You will find the right person who appreciates and accepts you for the amazing person you are and altho it might take time you are doing so well to keep going.
You are important and such a valuable member of the community.We are here for you and you are doing so well by keeping going even when it feels so hard right now.
Sending hugs and support and if you need anything today we are here for you but just signposting to some other services as well incase you want to speak to them
Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline call 0800 11 11
Take care
You are important and such a valuable member of the community.We are here for you and you are doing so well by keeping going even when it feels so hard right now.
Sending hugs and support and if you need anything today we are here for you but just signposting to some other services as well incase you want to speak to them
Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline call 0800 11 11
Take care
Re: How do I not look like shit when I step outside?
Morning @bignosegirly0 and nice to meet you. I don’t think we’ve ever met before on the boards!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with looking different when you’re inside and outside I think it’s really a light thing I think when you’re outside things become a lot clearer and you can see things more easily. Have you spoken to anybody about your worries around how you look? I think that you’re doing great and that it can be really hard sometimes to like compare yourself but just keep being you and your awesomeness will shine through
Sending hugs
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with looking different when you’re inside and outside I think it’s really a light thing I think when you’re outside things become a lot clearer and you can see things more easily. Have you spoken to anybody about your worries around how you look? I think that you’re doing great and that it can be really hard sometimes to like compare yourself but just keep being you and your awesomeness will shine through
Sending hugs
Re: (Mentions of suicidal ideation) What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with such heavy and difficult feelings @bignosegirly0 We're here for you, and you absolutely do deserve to be heard and valued. Echoing what's written above, perhaps this feeling of detachment is a way of your mind coping with these fears and emotions?
Sending hugs
We're here for you, and you absolutely do deserve to be heard and valued. Echoing what's written above, perhaps this feeling of detachment is a way of your mind coping with these fears and emotions?Sending hugs
amy02
1